So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Randomize
