Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize