you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
