ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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