i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
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He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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