Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
