Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
