Come see our sink grown plant.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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