I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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