Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
You're like the curious george of whores
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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