Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
