Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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