Well douche your snatch and let's go!
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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