I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Randomize
