so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
