if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
