I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
