i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
