I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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