So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize