Only a mothe r could love this liver
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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