So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
