I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
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