I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
