Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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