I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
