brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize
