He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
