It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Farmville is her only friend.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Randomize