just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
