he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
