u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
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She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
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His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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