I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
