I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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