We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
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