i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
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