duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
