I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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