under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
