dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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