just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
This is my life. Enjoy the view
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize