But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Randomize
