My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
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