what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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