i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
i used baking grease as lip gloss
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
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