He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
