There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
i out mim tonsoeep
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
