You're completely useless in the revolution.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize