I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize