I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
