he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Randomize
