I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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