She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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