Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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