dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
