Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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