there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
