You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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